I have a LOT of sex toys. I don’t mean in my personal collection, but ones that I physically have in my keeping which have never seen a Georgia O’Keefe or wang. They are keefe-and-wangless (excellent name for a band or apothecary shop, by the by) , and they are sad, like [...]]]> So, here’s the deal.

I have a LOT of sex toys. I don’t mean in my personal collection, but ones that I physically have in my keeping which have never seen a Georgia O’Keefe or wang. They are keefe-and-wangless (excellent name for a band or apothecary shop, by the by) , and they are sad, like those misfit toys in that Rudolph claymation special. Sad sex toys are despondent things indeed, let me assure you.

What should I DO with them? Some have smooshed box corners, many are of a jelly-ish variety (these did not come to me from asking, they were part of a pallet I received whilst bartering for writing services) and they’re all pretty decent things. There’s some condoms in here, some lube, bunch of things – I’m actually looking at a couple of fun factory discontinued dolphin vibes in the top of a box. There are several rows of boxes literally as tall as I am, currently looming in our bedroom, watching us sleep like total creepers. (I know what you’re doing sex toys. I know.)

Ideally, I would like to convert some of these toys into money for this rabbit rescue charity – from which we got our beautiful bunny, shown here in her snazzy new bajillion dollar leg cast cause she’s a spazbunny and tried to leap from somewhere she oughtn’t of.  This woman is amazingly tireless, and has literally given up her whole house and life to rabbits – her (amazingly clean, considering) house is filled with beautiful bunny pens that have everything a rabbit could desire, and she’s eked out a tiny little spot or two for her own living space, but it’s like, 90% bunnies. She’s the rabbit equivalent of the Caboodle Ranch, only all indoors and with a more orderly setup.

Ideas? To those that may bring up eBay, they take about 20% after fees and paypal, and then their “charity” option takes out another chunk for “processing” – and I can’t even use the charity option because they won’t let you do so in the adult categories.  I’d rather go an alternate route and ensure that 25% is with the bunnies and not lining some CEO’s pocket.

-TC

P.S. – Here is a tiny vibrating clitoral monkey, for your amusement:

The Elephant (Banner) in the Room

I’ve been angry, dear readers. I’ve been at odds because I have this anger that I can’t seem to snuff out entirely, but very much wish to. It is the cause-and-response emotion at seeing someone do something [...]]]> Sometimes you read something that just makes you stop, sit back, and say “Oh.”

The Elephant (Banner) in the Room

I’ve been angry, dear readers. I’ve been at odds because I have this anger that I can’t seem to snuff out entirely, but very much wish to. It is the cause-and-response emotion at seeing someone do something that can only be called, resoundingly, “wrong”, and seeing them strut about pridefully with no checks to balance it out. However, I also don’t like confrontation – that is why I allowed so many people – exes, friends, and most recently/notably employers, push me around and consistently place me in situations that I am uncomfortable with. When people are angry at me, when people are disappointed with me, when people threaten me, I take it to heart and stare at the ceiling instead of sleeping at night. The smallest things impact me more than you can imagine.

That’s why I try to avoid controversy. I will support friends – especially ones going through the same trials I have – but in general do my best not to immediately put pen to blog paper when I am incensed, frustrated, or upset…I tend to be very verbose, with great doses of vitriol I don’t really intend in my ramblings. I will, however, privately point out things like stolen designs, grammatical error in copy, and impending PR issues, but once a polarizing event (like those running currently through our community) occurs, I like to leave it to far more capable pens than my ill-formed and scattered thought patterns.

I want you to know that I truly and humbly appreciate your visits to my blog, your readership, your commentary, feedback, and opinions. If you choose to ally yourself with “that” company that has caused me the trouble and heartache in the past, I won’t stop being your friend or reading your blog. As I’ve explained to some of your privately, I understand there is a wealth of information on the site and if it helps you make the best choice in products for you, I’d rather you get a toy you love from a company I do not than vice versa. You’ve hopefully read the accounts given by myself and others about the prevailing attitude of the company, but you are an adult and make your own choices as much as I do.

If you work for that company and I have unfollowed you, unfriended you, etc – it is because I do not wish to hear a constant ramble of “that” company’s sales, deals, specials, how super-fantastic-great it is to work for them, and so on…any more than someone’s who’s been emotionally bullied and ended a relationship likes to hear their exes’ current partner chatter optomistically about how amazing it is to date them. I had a bad experience with the company, and while I can’t control their affiliate banners on a handful of the blogs I read, I sure as hell can control how much of my attention I volunteer to hearing and seeing a steady stream of manufactured marketing. If and when you ever leave the company, you are welcome to open a line of communication again with me, if you have any inclination to do so.

Bad Sex Advice

As far as the infamous quickly-pulled-down blog of a certain sex position pillow company, all I can say is this: a company is often not so much a spider web as it is a relay race.  Manufacturing seldom knows what Sales are doing, Marketing doesn’t even know who exactly works in Manufacturing, Corporate office may hire people that have never even seen the factory, etc etc. Blogs, twitter accounts, facebook accounts, even myspace accounts are often community property, “crowd sourced” from the brains of an entire office.

Do I think it was in poor taste? Yes.

Do I think the writer should be excused from the roster of writers for that particular blog for that particular company? Yes.

Do I think the company acted quickly with the most direct solution possible? Yes.

While I would have liked to see *some* sort of followup touching on why exactly the post was pulled, the marketer in me also argues back that bringing it up again would invite another wave of dissention and negative connotations with the company. Strictly marketing-wise, this was not on the level of a CEO found spewing racist remarks on live tv – this was one person of several on a blog format making a very poor attempt at humor that included “directions” that could have ended in yeast infections and VB for the female partners of those who followed them.  Cause was the article, solution was it was pulled, effect was article (the offending object) was stricken from record.  They have other PR issues that they still need to work on – such as the unprofessional tone of this representative. However, it unfortunately doesn’t seem like this sort of thing is an isolated incident in the social media culture business is knee-deep in these days.

Okay. So, I’ve heard some kids about my neice’s age (18-ish) whine about how they can’t afford condoms, and so that’s why they don’t have protected sex all the time.

I don’t judge the gals who aren’t on the pill, cause that’s the same choice I made…for my own personal needs, I didn’t want [...]]]>

Okay. So, I’ve heard some kids about my neice’s age (18-ish) whine about how they can’t afford condoms, and so that’s why they don’t have protected sex all the time.

I don’t judge the gals who aren’t on the pill, cause that’s the same choice I made…for my own personal needs, I didn’t want to muss with my body’s processes as a pregnancy prevention option. I chose condoms. Somehow, no matter how broke I was, I always rustled up condoms if I wanted sex badly enough.

I also don’t judge these kids for being broke, cause god knows I was too, at 18. I DO judge these kids for whining about the cost of condoms when they’re busy plunking down money on god-kn0ws-how-much for cigarettes, energy drinks, and the newest video game systems while far too many of them find themselves ushered into parenting unexpectedly, or having to make a choice they were not prepared to.

If you can find a way to have sex, you can find a way to get condoms. Period.

Here are seven places you can get condoms without having to pay for them or at a lower cost. Have consideration for your health, the health of your partner, and the health of your youth by not cutting it short with very adult decisions.

1.) Planned Parenthood. This is the go-to place for condoms. Usually they have a big ol’ fishbowl of the suckers sitting on the counter. If you’re shy or embarrassed, head to a PP that isn’t in your immediate town and call ahead to see what the condom situation is and how you can get some. They don’t judge you for wanting to have sex, so you don’t have to worry about getting “the eye” when you grab your handful of condoms.  If you would like to get an oral sex barrier for performing oral sex on a female-bodied partner, many PPs have dental dams for the asking, as well.

2.) A Local College. If your local college is St. Mary of the Biblical Epiphany of Christ, this may not be an option, I grant. However, if you have a local community college, it’s worth a call to their health department to ask about the free condom situation. Many of them, especially in bigger cities, have the same fishbowl setup as PP. Don’t go there? Chances are they won’t ask, but hey, that’s what the phone call is for, to feel out the situation. Ask if they need your student ID card, and if not, you’re golden.

3.) Beyond Seven Condoms free sample.

4.) Sensis Condoms free sample.

5.) Horny Goat Condoms free sample.

6.) Durex Condom Coupons: download Durex Condom coupons here.

7.) Trojan Condom Coupons: download Trojan Condom coupons here.

Here are seven more places you can get free lubricant to use with your condoms.

1.) Wet Lube Free Sample.

2.) Wet Synergy Lube Free Sample.

3.) Play Lube Free Sample.

4.) Astroglide X Lube Free Sample.

5.) Astroglide Natural Lube Free Sample.

6.) KY Intrigue Lube Free Sample.

7.) ID Lube Free Sample.

I am the first to admit, I am still very heavily on the side of “still learning” when it comes to genderqueer and fluidity. Like a person learning a new language through unexpected immersion, I am learning the “feel” and “idea” of the words with more grace than I am “book learning” them [...]]]>

I am the first to admit, I am still very heavily on the side of “still learning” when it comes to genderqueer and fluidity. Like a person learning a new language through unexpected immersion, I am learning the “feel” and “idea” of the words with more grace than I am “book learning” them enough to comfortably work them into conversation. From what I gather, I present/identify as a cisgendered woman – that is, one that is comfortable with one’s biological/birth gender assignation. The queer part of things? Well, that’s what I’m still working through to examine what it means and how it relates to me. I pick it up and turn it in the light, hoping that a facet will lead to an “aha!” moment.

I hate skirts, I love jeans and sneakers – but I cherish my long hair and large chest and happily let them identify me, at least in part. There is also a part of me that grins lopsidedly at the thought of packing, at sliding on a tie and tux, at taking the lead on the dance floor. It comes from my early years at high school, and it’s made me consider gender in new ways, ever since.

I dressed in “drag” – that is, tweed jackets, button up shirts, creased slacks and fedoras – in my freshman and sophomore years of my brand new high school, getting away with it under the guise of the “weird new kid”. I slid on secondhand store clothes without even washing them (in hindsight…blegh!) and as the buttons strained over my even-then gigantic chest, I happily slid on a tie (pre-tied, natch. I wasn’t coordinated enough, so I just kept loosening and tightening it) and roamed around the typical haunts with my friends, who miraculously just accepted my…unusual..taste in attire as simply me being me.

This in itself wasn’t unusual, maybe…new kid is uprooted and starts dressing in a nonconformist manner…but I realized that the smell of the clothes, the aftershave and 1970’s and 80’s inexplicable scent, was one of my main reasons for wearing them in the first place. Wearing cologne was too far over some imaginary gender line, but the clothes I could work. They didn’t smell dirty, or sweaty…they just had that faint, lingering smell of colognes from an era that smelled like men before Calvin Klein was even around to conceive of unisex fragrances. So I went to school in rumpled shirtsleeves, fresh from the rack at the thrift store and rolled up at the sleeves so I could lean over my math work. This was the toychick at 15 – wearing clothes that better suited my father, stationed with the military halfway across the world. It started with his jacket, and eventually I built up this wardrobe, like some sort of cast-off Brooks Brothers snowman of my absent dad. I missed him, I suppose, and in some weird way it made me feel closer to him.

The semi-suits and fedoras were nudged aside a year later for what I lovingly call my “angry goth phase”, and eventually spawned the t-shirt and blouse look I unfailingly wear today. Like a ghost, though, the love of colognes never left me, and privately I crinkle my nose and wince away from women’s perfume. The deep, heady scent of a resin-rich male body product makes me swoon…and wearing it makes me feel strong, sexy, and capable. I feel agressive, positive, and motivated when I elbow my dove soap out of the way and slather my guilty secret, axe, on my bath loofah. Hell, I want one of those stupid “shower detailer” things instead of my loofah….I know it’s a gimmick, but it’s SO COOL. I sneak Toyboy’s aftershave balm and trace a line under my jaw now and then – sometimes I’ll even pick up his razor and glide it along the skin above my smile, picking up the translucent down in the blades.

Men smell good, I like their grooming rituals, and sometimes I just want to dip a foot in the pool of being-a-boy.

Very happy to say that Chilldils gets by with a little help from its friends!

Thanks to Duncan Charles Designs, Chilldils will be available for purchase soon – we’ll be announcing it both here and on Chilldils.com – so stay tuned.

-TC

Live in NJ/PA/NY? Are you a sexblogger? Want to see the Crayola Factory?

I know, it’s a little…not normally sexblogger related. But honestly – CRAYONS! Come on now. It’ll be awesome.

I’m thinking maybe like…May 22nd and/or 23rd, a Saturday and Sunday. The Crayola Factory is in Easton, PA. We can make a day, have [...]]]>

Live in NJ/PA/NY? Are you a sexblogger? Want to see the Crayola Factory?

I know, it’s a little…not normally sexblogger related. But honestly – CRAYONS! Come on now. It’ll be awesome.

I’m thinking maybe like…May 22nd and/or 23rd, a Saturday and Sunday. The Crayola Factory is in Easton, PA. We can make a day, have lunch, swap stories, terrorize Easton with our fabulosity.

What say you, tri-state bloggers?

-TC