Personally, I prefer my chocolate to come in viking hat form, jauntily perched on my partner’s wang. I think, given a chance, you would too.

The awesome folks at www.ChocolatePartyHats.com , whose wares I have previously (and happily!) reviewed here, have offered up a virtual choco-penis-chapeau smorgasbord to my terribly lucky readers. Made of decadent callebaut chocolate, a dark imported Belgian variety, these are not melted and molded hershey confections – these are more like truffle oil, or fine champagne when placed beside those valentines candies. You will not be sorry, cause god knows I was not. This is the best chocolate I’ve ever had in my life, in a life that has contained substantial amounts of said chocolate.

I have three viking hat styles and two cowboy hat styles generously offered to my readers for their gourmet gropes and nibbling pleasures, I’m happy to say. The only caveat is that the winner must be in the US – I apologize to my delightful Canadian readers, but the cost of shipping to ya’ll is higher than the cost of the product, sadly.

If you’d like to enter, please leave a comment below with the style you’re interested in. Five winners will be randomly drawn on TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 9th.

And the winners, chosen via random.org, are 6,4,11,1, and 5 – Congrats to Lilly, Mia, Chuck, Kaijah and Angel! Please email your mailing information along with your style choice (in case I forget!) to me at ThatToyChick@gmail.com so I can get your chocolate nomminess on the way to you. Everyone else, thank you for playing - If you’d like a chocolate party hat now, they’ve set up a coupon code for 25% off for you guys! Just enter “ThatToyChick” at checkout to receive your discount.

Speaking as a gal that, by weight, has more lubricants than sex toys in her personal collection (note: I’m not counting my office/desk, because I think I have to measure THAT in tons) I can safely say I agree. Lubricant makes toys more enjoyable, mitigates discomfort that might pop up because of dryness or friction, and damn if it’s not just a whole bunch of fun to boot. I use it alone, with my partner, for handjobs, regular sex, anal sex, and I’ve even been known, in a pinch, to extol the virtues of silicone lube for squeaky door hinges or bad hair days.

Of the brands out there, among the most well known to the general population is WET brand lubes. The ubiquitous purple splash logo has meandered into the stock of almost every sex store, and even to “vanilla” venues like CVS drugstores and Walmart stores nationwide. I was thrilled the first time I witnessed this expansion – it meant that a whole new generation would get a little support in thinking of sex as something fun, healthy, and *gasp* normal!

No longer are the only lube choices relegated to medicinally-white tubes faithfully stocked beside products like suppositories. Consumers today are greeted with a colorful row of WET products, ranging from flavored to tingling to silicone, thoughtfully offered right beside the condoms for safe and enjoyable sex. I’m very happy about it, because they seem to have opened the market up for other ’sexual’ items in these same stores, from overt finger vibrators to the sly movement of certain “massagers” into the family planning aisle.

As a company, all the dealings I’ve had with them have been wonderful – they have a great group of employees that are very knowledgeable about their products, my questions were always answered truthfully and honestly, and they are supportive of bloggers. They make “safe sex” kits, complete with lube, condoms and an STD fact sheet, that are given away freely at events and stores. They are responsible for one my fave pieces of AVN swag – a “trade show survival kit” with asprin, bandaids, a safety pin, and a whole bunch of other stuff that seriously saved the day throughout my insane weekends in Vegas with Vera from FYN.  And, certainly not least of all, they are kind enough to let me try out their stuff!

Expanding on that same notion of sexy, slippery satisfaction for all, WET has also been rolling out nifty dual sets of lubes* for their 20th anniversary. The two sets feature enhancer gels and compatible co-lubricants, intended to be enjoyed by both partners at once, in addition to their familiar favorites. Their lubes, including the new dual sets, are always latex-friendly, with the exception of their single WET oil-based lube.

• The Wet Together Lubricant pack has two 2 oz bottles of lube – a warming water-based one and a cooling silicone-based one; they meant to be applied to one another and…um..combined. I’ll let you imagine how!
• The Wet Together Pleasure Enhancing Gels are two .50 oz tubes of concentrated arousal gels – one is intended to increase sensations in the penis, the other is intended to increase sensations in the clitoris.
• Wet Flavored Gel is a water-based thicker-consistency lube that can be used for any sex play, as it is sugar-free.
• Wet Platinum is a silicone-based thin-consistency lube that can be used for almost anything, but shouldn’t be used with silicone toys.

Do these sound good? Awesome, cause I have some sample packs to give away! (I specifically asked for sample packs to give away to my readers so I could let as many people as possible try these awesome products instead of just one person getting a bunch of bottles. ) You guys are the reason I write, and if I can help you have better sex by proxy, you’re damn sure gonna have it!

(Don’t want to wait for the winners to be picked? Snag yourself a $1 coupon here and go grab your fave in your local store!)

Leave a comment to enter, I’ll be picking TEN winners in a few days. Winners will receive these sample packs:

*While I can understand the “his and her” thing may be trying to my GLBT readers, I can assure that WET has never seemed anything less than supportive of the community through my talks and dealings with them. Unfortunately, when you are catering to a larger nationwide store chain, they are already reluctant to carry sex products, and pushing that heteronormative line from the get-go will often take you clear out of the running.  I can’t speak for WET, but I imagine that was likely one of the reasons for the naming of these products as they are.

Edit, 2/3/09 – The kind folks at Trigg Labs/WET sent along an email to let me know they are very much behind the GLBT community! On top of donating safe sex kits to AIDS prevention/awareness groups every month and sponsoring events like the Winter Party, Gay Days Orlando, and the White party, they also support these events and groups:

• The Los Angeles GLBT Center
• Maui AIDS Foundation
• The Cherry Fund
• The Purple Foundation
• The LGBT Task Force of NYC
• AIDS Research Alliance of America
• Bayou City Boys Club
• AIDS Walk L.A, San Francisco & NYC
• The Tweakers Project
• Toronto Pride

So, when the pervy elves at the north pole (read: Spareparts HQ) sent me a surprise UPS notice that two more harnesses were winging their way to me, I knew I had to give my readers and extra-special holiday treat. I enlisted the help of perhaps the only woman who could go head-to-head with me on a smutty version of Jeopardy, my lovely sex toy sista, Epiphora. We both loved the Joque, so why not spread the love to our readers with a wintery giveaway?

This time, Spareparts was generous enough to give us a size A AND a size B so everyone could have a chance to rock the Joque. While the size A is generous, I myself wear a size B and wanted to give the bigger gals a chance to strap on in ridiculous comfort along with me

So how do you enter? Easy!

1. Just drop a comment here (make sure you tell me if you want Size A (20-50”)  OR Size B (35-65”))
2. Head on over here and answer Epiphora’s super-simple questions for an extra entry
3. Cross your fingers!

Once we get your comment here (and your answered questions on Epiphora’s Form for an extra entry) you’ll be entered to win the size you noted in your comment. Easy, no? Considering this is a $100+ Vegan-friendly luxury harness, we think it’s a rather exciting giveaway.

To win, you must live in the U.S. The deadline for entries is December 30th, 2009 at 11:59 p.m. PST. We will pick a winner randomly for each harness size.

-TTC

Comment #41, Raven Quince!

Congrats, chica

***

For all the sexy, brilliant, delightful folks who did not win, may I humbly suggest you stay tuned – not only will Raven likely post her thoughts on this hot little number once she’s given it a go, but the toychick may in fact have a trick or two up her sleeve closer to Xmas. Let’s just say I’m in league with some SERIOUSLY depraved elves up there in the ‘pole.

Again, I most humbly thank you for participating in the giveaway – you brought me smiles when I saw how many folks out there are happy, healthy, sexy people looking to expand their horizons. You should all pat yourselves on the back for being open enough about your sexuality to enter a contest like this! It is because of people like you that generations hence will be able to be comfortable and unconcerned when they express themselves.

-TTC